Archive for August, 2011

DJ Spitzhotfire

I’m sitting at my computer, really bored

If I don’t do something soon I’ll end up in the mental ward

My baby is at the mall getting worked like a dog

I’m sweaty and I stink from a short little jog

She wants me to bring her up a small snack to graze on

If we lived by an airport I’d just stop at a cinnabon

Being white makes it hard to find words that rhyme

So I have to use Google so I don’t waste too much time

My stomachs starting to growl, so I’m gonna eat some chicken

There’s been no food at home so it was kind of slim pickin

I miss my boy, Lou, and  I wish he was here

But all he’d be doing is trying to get me to itch his rear

My vocabulary is pretty small so I’m done with this crap

It’s a good thing I don’t really think I can rap



Guess who’s back!?

So it’s been some time since my last post. Call it laziness, procrastination, or forgetfulness. Truthfully it’s all of the above. Being unemployed is starting to spoil me. Just ask Veronica! I guess on the other hand it should give me enough to write about but since I’m a pretty simple, boring person it  probably won’t.

All the hype about the deployment has been put out by them canceling it less than a month out. That’s part of the reason I’ve just been sitting around for a little over 2 weeks. I’m waiting to hear what our other options our this weekend when I go to drill and that will help decide what my future holds. I started the application process at the Detroit Police Dept and have just finished the 2nd out of 7 or 8 lengthy steps. I took the MCOLES test and scored in “Band A”, which basically means I showed that test who the boss is! The next step is an orientation that describes the next few steps and what information they need from me to check and see if I pass the background check. My fingers are crossed. It’s a long process to do so I’m hoping I can get some active duty time at a military school or something along those lines. The personal trainer hobby/career is underway too. I have started reading the books to make me into a “Fitness Professional”! I’ve made up some pretty cheesy business cards to go with it once I get certified.

The one who originally was against the blog idea has been telling me I wasn’t keeping up with it so this is partially for her too. My self-diagnosed ADHD has led me to get bored with the 250 challenge so until it catches my attention again I’m searching Google for other ideas to entertain my many readers. The one that I am doing in this blog is a “How to: for beginners”. Here it goes.


How to: Beginners Guide to picking out a Best Friend

When picking out a best friend there are a few things you have to take into consideration. One of the first being size restrictions. Your best friend will differ depending on if you live in an apartment, condo, house with a big yard, fences, etc. After figuring out your living arrangements you are that much closer to having a friend that will be there for you no matter what is happening in your life. The next step is figuring out if you have any sort of allergies. This is important because if your best friend makes you have itchy, red eyes, your life with them will be tolerable but not as comfortable as you’d want. The good thing about this is that science has made best friends for everybody’s needs, even the people with allergies. When all this is worked out you are going to want to decide on size and breed of your new companion. If you’re active you are going to want a friend that can keep up with your lifestyle, on the other hand if you’re a couch potato you’ll most likely want one that doesn’t run around the house like a chicken with its head cut off annoying you. This is also true for selecting the age of your friend. If you don’t have time to properly train a puppy then maybe an older friend is the way to go. The last step before leaving the house to go find your best friend is deciding if you’re going to go to a respected breeder and pay a large amount of money for a friend that is going to get taken home no matter or to adopt one from a shelter like; The Humane Society, Last Chance Rescue, or The Pound. As you can tell by my biased approach I am more for the latter. You are now at the final step! After going through all of these you are now able to go to wherever you decide and pick out your new best friend! A friend that is there for you no matter what struggles you are facing, a friend that is always there to pick your head up when you’re down, to make your sad and lonely days not so lonely anymore. You will see that it is more than picking out a pet, it is picking out a family member, a best friend, and a forever home for them. This is not only a big step in your life but in their life too. Not only are you affected by this but so is the dog you pick out.

This was my “How to” on something I am familiar with. Hopefully it is helpful. 🙂


Life update

This is going to be a short one. Not much has happened in my life since the last one because I’m still wasting my life away in Grayling. The first and probably biggest news to happen, which I shouldn’t say yet because it isn’t public. I guess it doesn’t really matter with my 2 devoted fans it isn’t going to spread fast. But back to the big news! There is about a 99% chance the Afghanistan deployment is cancelled! Now hold the shock and awe because with the way word has been changing every 2 hours it could go back in a heartbeat but it’s looking like I won’t have a chance of getting any combat action. Rumors are that we are going to do a UDP(unit deployment program). I’m not 100% sure what that is or how it works but from what I’ve heard it means we will still deploy in the time slot of our original plan but just to another place with a different mission. The two places being talked about, which is only speculation, are Okinawa, Japan and Africa. I’d rather go to Africa because it sounds more exotic and Japan seems more common. But my vote doesn’t count so it doesn’t matter. If were not going to Afghan then I’ll be happy as long as I get that year deployment for the GI bill. If we can get a deployment under Operation Enduring Freedom it will let me use the post 9/11 GI bill which would be even better. The reason behind this is something with the debt, Obama wanting to get re-elected, and our “mission” getting cancelled. I feel like these things that you hear about somehow always happen to me, but that’s life in the military. “Gettin screwed by the big green weenie”. That’s the Marine way to put it. Besides all this, my days are filled with what every other day surrounded by “manly men” would be like. Constant stories of drunken nights, who’s had the most sex, and arguements about insignificant topics just to kill time. And in other, other news I still miss my wittle baby V and our son Louis. Even though I’ve only been gone for 17 days(I think), I miss them after being away for over then 12 hours.